Vol. 247 · No. 1,488 · The People's Daily Forgetting · 50¢ if it's still legal to charge
Saturday, May 16, 2026

The Ban History Gazette

"All the news that's been removed from the curriculum."
OBITUARIES

The Ban History Gazette

American History, of no fixed address, passed quietly on Tuesday afternoon following a brief school board meeting in suburban Ohio. It was 250. Survivors include an aging stack of textbooks in a storage unit in Pennsylvania, several retired teachers who would prefer not to be named, and a documentary series no one has finished watching. In lieu of flowers, the family asks that mourners consider reading something, anything, all the way through. A memorial service will be held at the Boca Raton Public Library, assuming it is still there.